I appreciate all the emails and calls of support, thanks and love I have received over the last three months. I haven't been able to answer them all, many because I didn't trust what I was saying was what I should be saying.
"And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:30-31)
I was, and still am, worried that my negativity and anger, my sorrow and pain, would cloud my replies too much, so I basically shut down most communication.
I anticipate coming back stronger, righteous, more in touch, and closer to Him than ever before.
Maybe even reborn.....
I cannot partake this journey from where I am, so I am going to be forced to leave. This will be tough on my family, and I hope someday they may understand.
Parable of the Dinner
16 But He said to him, "A man was giving a big dinner, and he invited many ; 17 and at the dinner hour he sent his slave to say to those who had been invited, 'Come ; for everything is ready now.' 18 "But they all alike began to make excuses. The first one said to him, 'I have bought a piece of land and I need to go out and look at it; please consider me excused.' 19 "Another one said, 'I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to try them out; please consider me excused.' 20 "Another one said, 'I have married a wife, and for that reason I cannot come.' 21 "And the slave came back and reported this to his master. Then the head of the household became angry and said to his slave, 'Go out at once into the streets and lanes of the city and bring in here the poor and crippled and blind and lame.' 22 "And the slave said, 'Master, what you commanded has been done, and still there is room.' 23 "And the master said to the slave, 'Go out into the highways and along the hedges, and compel them to come in, so that my house may be filled. 24 'For I tell you, none of those men who were invited shall taste of my dinner.' "
25 Now large crowds were going along with Him; and He turned and said to them, 26 "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. 27 "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. 28 "For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? 29 "Otherwise , when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, 30 saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.' 31 "Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand ? 32 "Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 "So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions. 34 "Therefore, salt is good ; but if even salt has become tasteless, with what will it be seasoned ? 35 "It is useless either for the soil or for the manure pile ; it is thrown out. He who has ears to hear, let him hear." (Luke 14, 16-35)
My understanding of this and other passages I have read and been sent, is that when He calls, one must go, no matter what things of the world may be left behind.
So I am finally going, finally found the courage to seek Him out.
It is time.
Thanks Fred. Without you, this would have never happened.
To the rest of you, I will be in need of prayers and moral support. My family will also.
See you in a few months.
Keep the Faith,
PS, don't forget....